Best Thank You Card Ever

I’ve always considered my ass to be top notch.




Half Dozen

  • Jasper is 6 months old. The last 6 months felt like 2 years to us. He’s a pre-crawling machine. Thankfully, he’s still a really happy little dude. Just somewhat insane. Wonder where he got that from?
  • Last week, when I got home from work, I walked right past Stiners and Jasper on the way to the livingroom. When I walked out of the room, Jasper started crying. I came back to play with him, and he lit right up. This is how he tricks me into loving him. Manipulative bastard.
  • There was a marked difference travelling across the country with a 2 month old and very active 6 month old. J-balls wasn’t unhappy about being on the airplane, but he’s just a very loud, squirmy little guy. You really don’t want to sit anywhere near us. I was totally wiped after a very long day, and after walking home from Stiners house, I unpacked my dop kit in the dark, and proceeded to brush my teeth with Cortizone 10. After 15 seconds of brushing, I knew something was terribly wrong. I rinsed several times with Listerine, and water, and attempted to erradiacte the horrible taste in my mouth with toothpaste. I then asked the internet how bad this was, and could not find anything useful, so I broke my poison control hotline cherry. Fortunately, they didn’t make me feel any more of a dumb ass then I already felt. They said they get this call all the time, and that I did the right thing with the rinsing, and I’d be fine. So, hopefully, if anyone else in the world googles “brush teeth cortizone”, they’ll end up here. You’re welcome.
  • Every baby has a least one thing that really challenges their parents. I’ve only now recognized that Jasper’s insanely high activeness and strength is what I’m really struggling with. Stiners and I are not strong, nor super long on endurance. Jasper’s continues to get more active and stronger every day, while I feel like I’m heading in the other direction. It’s already a challenge to keep up with him, and its about to get a lot harder since he’s now mobile.
  • Its important to aim J-Ball’s mighty man tool downwards after putting a diaper on. Otherwise, it’s wet onsies all around. So we have converstaions like this:
    “Penis down?”
    “Penis down.”
  • Jiboo’s godparents came out for a short visit. It was crazy fun, with the emphasis on crazy.
  • For Stiner’s birthday, I decided to throw her a “surprise” birthday in Newton. So I came over on her birthday with a Cabot’s birthday cake in hand, and told her we were having a party. The doorbell rang like 3 minutes later, and the party began. This way she didn’t have to do any mental or physical prep, but didn’t have the actual “SURPRISE” moment, which I believe would have introduced severe trust issues in our relationship. ‘Twas a good party.
  • During late pregnancy, I thought it would be nice if I could fast forward to having a six month old. In my mind, it would be better to have a baby that was somewhat interactive, and less of a very needy lump of goo. Now in retrospect, these past six months have been some of the richest of my life. So if I had a time machine, I would go back like 5 years and buy lots of google stock.
  • To celebrate the 6 month of Japser’s life outside the womb, I will introduce a radical new concept in Jasper voyeurism: video.  Here’s a glimpse at early drunk style crawling: