Hans for Supreme Overlord

I heart me a random conversation, especially one that Hans lovingly transcribes for me so I can blog it. I feel Hans last remark is why I would elect him supreme overlord. Of my pants, at least.

J = me, H = Hans, RG = (big, possibly intimitating) random guy

RG sits down saying he came in b/c our heater was running.
H: “(looking at the heater that’s barely still alive) Not really.”
RG: “I can still feel it though.”
H: “OK.”
Meanwhile, across the circle, Dave SG is talking about how he wants to paint a giant mural of an orangutan.
H: “(turns to J and RG) I’d like to BE an orangutan for a day…just for a day.”
RG: (shakes his head, looking in disbelief at H)
H: “Just for a day. An orangutan for a day.”
RG: “What’s an orangutan?”
(slight pause)
H: “You know, an ape…monkey thing, you know.”
RG: “Oh yeah. (makes like an ape with long arms) Naw, man, I’m not…that’s not…”
H: “(points to RG and says to J and RG) Oh, he says a day isn’t enough; he’s down for a week.”
RG: “(looking at H like he’s crazy and shaking his head) Naw. No way. Not gonna…no monkey.”
H: “(turns to RG) OK, how about if you got to have a tail you could grab onto things with?”
RG: “Naw. I have hands to do that.”
H: “OK, how about if you got to stay a person but could have the tail to grab onto things with?”
RG: “No way. I still got the hands to grab things.”
J: “I’d take the tail.”
H: “See, he’d take the tail. Me too.”
RG: “But then people might call you a freak.”
H: “People already call him a freak. (laughing)”
J: (softly and seriously, after the laughter quiets a bit) Its’s not true.”
H: “Hahaha, ‘it’s not true’.”
RG: “Oh, see, he’s assassinating your character.”
H: “Oh, shit! That’s true! I WAS assassinating your character. (aside to J) I can’t believe he just said that.”
J: “(to RG) That’s why we call him Fuckface Jones!”
RG: “Cuz he eats a lotta ****y?” <– and you might wonder why I decided to asterix that one. Wonder away.
(awkward pause)
J: “Huh… maybe…I guess that could be part of it.”
RG: (looks across and sees Stina and Erin leaning on each other and turns to J) Are they gay?”
J: “Uh, no.”
RG: “A little bit?”
J: “… maybe a little.”
RG: “I tried to convince my friend to…swing both ways, you know? She was into it one night but that was it. It was cool…but then I saw the other woman and I said ugh, no way.”
H: “She had a tail?” <— moment of brillance
RG: “…I think she had hooves.”
H: “Oooh, that shit hurts.”




Seriously. Thanks Seigal.



Stumbling through Picasa

I ran across this.




At 8 drinks, you switch the torrent from FreeBSD to Microsoft Bob.  C'mon, it'll be fun!From