We’ve had a really fabulous run of awesomeness for the past decade or so. We’ve been super blessed in so many ways. In the last few years though, it sometimes felt like we were going through the motions. After eating so much cake, it became less exciting to partake in life’s chocolaty goodness. Time oozed on and often slipped away.
Time sure got a kick in the pants once the happy circle on the pee stick entered out lives. Since then we sourced a house, moved in, acquired a plethora of baby accessories, threw several parties (housewarming, superbowl, an epic baby shower), formed a small army of doctors, experienced many different styles of yoga, and connected with tons of people. We’ve had visitors stay in our fancy new guest room, built a ton of IKEA furniture, and made the house our home. I got to watch Stina experience life differently every day. The previous pattern of life was obliterated. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve crammed in too many concerts (highlights were Big Organ Trio and Leftover Salmon), toiled down on some serious general fuzz tunage, and started to really venture out in the the east bay (buying relatively high end baby gear on craigslist results in visiting the many suburbs of the east bay). I’ve managed to really savor almost every day for the past 9-10 months. Life has that sparkle again.
We’ve been approaching this whole baby thing fairly non-traditionally, which is true to form. People knew we were pregnant a few days after we did. Fortunately the baby stuck, but we wanted our community to rally around us if it didn’t. Our large scale co-ed baby shower was really a party that was baby shower themed. I’d like to think that our shower takes the prize for amount of alcohol consumed. Our community is having a huge hand in helping us name the baby. I’m really happy when we buck the trend.
On the other hand, OMG WE’RE ABOUT TO HAVE A BABY!!! This is no longer an abstract concept. We’re in the end game now. We just learned that the baby is currently in breech position (feet first). We’re going to attempt an external version (where her doctor attempts to push the baby around) on Tuesday. If that doesn’t work, we’re having a c-section in nine days. Single digits, people.
When we talk about the future with our son, I have no concept what it will be like. Its no fun thinking about letting go of all activities that bring me joy. On the other hand, the concept of not doing these things can only be referenced in a life where everything is exactly the same except I’m not writing music, being social, seeing shows, and being goofy with Stiners. Well that last one will be omni present in our lives, but it will be a more, “I’m so tired, I’m going to vomit” kinda goofing around. I can’t conceptualize what life will be with child. I know there’s going to be a lot of love, challenges, and personal growth, but its all really abstract right now. People say everything will change once you see/hold your baby. I’m curious if thats true. I won’t consider it a failure if its doesn’t happen. I’m wagering the whole process will be a rewarding experience, one way or another. It would be astonishing if everyone was lying. I guess that would be worth finding out too. Then I could expose the great parent conspiracy on this blog.
Life, which seemed to be a little more open to interpretation a few short months ago, has become rather tightly focused of late. The destination of this journey is baby, and there several well defined hoops that we are jumping through. Even though I know its more about the journey then the destination, its hard to lose track of the destination at this point. Of course, life can always throw us a few curve balls, so every morning I tense up, clutch my sweet ass, and shut my eyes as I boldly attack my day.
The good word is that we’ve found our fabulous new home in the east bay. We’re wicked psyched about that. Now we need to move all our stuff from A to B. Fortunately, with Stina at the helm, we’re already ahead of schedule. We’ve already donated and sold all of our excess possessions, and there’s a solid showing of boxes stacked around the house. All the art is down, and this apartment now sucks way more then it did a week ago. As much as I’m sad to leave our amazing neighborhood, this long goodbye is on the verge of dragging on, and I’m beginning to anticipate starting the next chapter of our lives.
We celebrated Halloween in the only way we know how – in a cabin in Yosemite surrounded by hippies and killer music. I really brought my A game for our probable final appearance at Las Tortugas, the best music festival in the universe. Strangers commented on all costume changes. I freaking RAGED all weekend long, while Stina rested comfortably in our sweet sweet love cabin. Unforuntatly our neighbors raged much harder then we did, blasting the tunes till past 6 am. I was too tired to be affected by it, but alas, Stina complete lack of raging rendered her helpless to the onslaught of “bonus rock”. I think I’d give top honors to Dumpstafunk, with Umphree’s second, and Tea Leaf Green third. TLG really brought it big this year.
Last friday one of my band dreams came true when Sean Lehe paired up with Asher Fulero in “Mo-Ped“. They were rounded out by Marshall Harrell (New Monsoon) on bass and Dave Brogan (ALO) on kit. I started off the evening right at JP Cutler’s suprise b-day dinner, and then dove deep in the Mo-Ped show. Those guys can freaking jam. I ran into bunches of folks from Los Tortugas, and one person who knew me as the guy with lots of costumes. Booyeah.
My internet love is running at an all time high right now. Craigslist allowed me to trade an office chair for a bike, which is AWESOME. Craigslist did a head fake though with tickets to Widespead Panic, what with the dude bailing on me last minute. So I jumped on the Bart, headed to the GORGEOUS new Fox Theater, and got second row center balcony tickets from the box office! Aww yeah! Then I forced the two folks who had to accompany me in (cause I had a dangerous laptop and might be able to “take pictures” – no lie, this is the reason I was accompanied by TWO security peeps) to wait at the merch booth while I snapped up the LAST killer poster. Booyeah! Then I happily checked my bag + poster, and rocked the fuck out! WSP was awesome. No “Tall Boy” though.
On Friday we went to see Kate and Maggie dance in the Go Go Spectacular, which was surprisingly awesome. Its insane how talented my friends are. Like Tom, who competed in a Championship Triathlon this past weekend. Or Amanda Gean, who ran 20 miles. Or Dave SG, who not only helped clean and pack all our art, but ate all the food in the house.
Words cannot describe how much fun I had at this year at Burning Man.
An epic year by all accounts, leaving me with joy in my heart and the fire to return. I’ll be back, one day.
I thought this video did a good job summarizing 09:
Summer goodness rolls on unabated. One night I got to live one my fantasies by seeing bands at both the Connecticut Yankee (A New Monsoon benifit show with extra bonus Lebo) and a block down the road at the Bottom of the Hill (the New Up kicking off their big national tour). It was the hippies vs. the hipsters, and I had great fun bouncing between the diametrically opposite crowds.
On Friday, we went down to Outside Lands to listen to a few bands from outside the perimeter, but then ran into our friend Aaron who hooked us up with ridiculously cheap day passes. Totally bonus Thievery Corp and Pearl Jam. It felt good to roll though one more time while we still live within spitting distance to the festival. We streamed the rest of the festy from the safety of our living room. Thanks youtube.
Stina and Angel just rocked the joint birthday party at chez Krudden. We’re old, and love the afternoon party. People rolled through all day, and now we’re basking in the glow of feeling really connected to our friends. It was a really excellent day, and there’s still three jello shots left.
Life’s been feeling extra poignant lately, what with the impending baby and all. While I’ve been diving head first into a true concert and general fuzz bender, the nagging suspicion that everything’s going to radically change lurks right beneath the surface. My role at work has been shifting for a while, to the point where its almost like I have a new job. So a “new” job, a probable move to a bigger space on the horizen, and then a baby. Hmmm. I’m not so good with change. Tough titties, I guess. Its gonna happen, and in a big, big way. The best thing I can do is have a positive attitude, so lately I’m attempting to rock a “BRING IT ON” front. I’m not really fooling myself though – underneath it all, I’m scared shitless.
Anyhow, tomorrow I boldly head back into the desert to lose my mind. One last time.